I'm tired of myself.

I don't know what it is. I suddenly feel so . . . uneasy. Like there is something out there that I'm just not getting. There is something missing. I feel like this a lot. And it drives me crazy. My heart starts beating fast and my mind moves (or whatever it does) faster, but I just can't grasp what it is I'm missing. I feel like, I don't know, like there's something out there I'm missing. And now I'm being redundant.

This is so frusterating! Does it ever get any easier? Do you ever know all the answers? I wish I could just wake up one morning and look in the mirror and feel totally secure in the skin I'm in.

What's wrong with me?! I wanna know what I'm missing. I want to feel complete.

10:27 p.m. November 12, 2002
yesterday . not so yesterday