You know what makes me mad? . . .

No, I don't feel like getting into it right now, I'm not even going to go there.

It's just . . Arg! People make generalizations about things, assume things about people when they really have no idea what they are talking about. And you know what happens when you assume right? You make an ass out of you and me. (sorry, I don't like cussing and I don't normally, but I had to say it)

It just. . . people assume that since I am a christian, that they know exactly how I'm going to react to everything and go ahead and judge me right off as a good-goody ding-dong that blindly follows her faith and it totally brainless. It makes me so mad! They don't know me. They don't know my God. If your not a christian, you can never comprehend what it's like to be one. You don't know how hard it is sometimes, how sometimes your doubts and fears just make you crumble. And you don't know what it feels like to totally feel God's presence. To feel so secure and so loved and so . . just amazing and to know without a doubt that he's there with you and loves and and will never let you go.

You don't know that, you don't know me, and can't judge me and the rest of my people just because you've had a few bad encounters with so-called , "christians," that turn out to be total hypcrites. They piss me off just as much as they do you.

I'm not perfect and I never claimed to be. I don't think I'm better than you. I don't think life is a competition to see who can more more holy and righteous. I don't think homosexuals are going to burn in hell. I don't have the knowledge to know who's going where, only God does. I don't know what is going on in people's hearts and therefore can't judge them, only God can. I don't think homosexuality is right, but I don't hate homosexuals. Just like I don't think lieing is right but I don't hate liars. I lie sometimes. I'm not perfect, just forgiven. I screw up sometimes and I always will. God isn't calling me to be perfect, just to love him and accept him and glorify him. He knows that I will screw up and that's why he sent his son, so that no matter how many times I do screw up, yesterday, today, or tomorrow, he will still always love me and nothing can change that. Once I'm in the family, I'm stuck there for eternity, no matter what.

I'm not saying this to preach or anything. I'm doing this for me.

9:07 p.m. November 07, 2002
yesterday . not so yesterday