reading: the Bourne Identity
listening: "Sweetness" by Jimmy Eat World
eating: nothing
aniticipating: camp

Today is boring. Blah.

I had a Kid's Cuisine for lunch. It included chicken nuggets, corn, marcorni and cheese, and a brownie with red frosting. That was exciting. I remember when I used to have one of those like, everyday.

I'm scared. I'm taking AP World History next year and I just got a letter in the mail that I am supposed to pick up my textbook and some assignments from the teacher before school is out to work on in the summer. Well, school has been out for almost a MONTH now. So I can't really do anything about it. Geez. AP World History is going to be hard enough, and now I'm going to be behind. That makes me frustrated. Maybe I should just change to Pre-Ap. But I don't want to. My pal, Ben, was really sweet and gave me all his notes and junk from when he took AP World History. Wasn't that so sweet of him? So, I'll feel bad if I don't use 'em.

I don't feel like talking about his anymore. It's summer! No school.

I leave for camp in three weeks. It's a camp I go to with my church every summer called Impact. It's always so much fun. Every year it is located at a different college. This year it is going to be held at Baylor University in Waco, Texas. That's where my parents went. It's really nice. I'm excited. REALLY excited.

I am just so tired and bored of my home. Going to Jackson for a week was a nice change and I wish I was still there, but I'm not. I'm here. I'm bored. I'm restless and I'm tired of it. I wish something really exciting would happen. Like, I don't know, having a boyfriend would be nice. But I don't want to dwell on that empty fantasy. Sigh.

Did I tell you? I think Tyler likes Whitney. Grr. What is wrong with him?! What's wrong with me? Whitney has a boyfriend anyway. They are in love too. She told how much she loves him and how he told her he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Wow. That's major. They are only sixteen. And he is moving at the end of the summer. But anyway, enough about them. Tyler. Likes Whitney. I think. I don't know! I just wish I could stop thinking about him. I wish I could just be me and single and be happy with it. I wish I didn't feel lonely and jealous of all my friends who have a significant other. I wish I could be happy for them.

I wish I could just stop feeling so sorry for myself.

1:33 p.m. June 17, 2002
yesterday . not so yesterday