I have daydreams about dying for God. Someone putting a gun to my head a telling me to renounce my faith or die. Standing up for my belief against all odds. I imagine people seeing my herioc act and being in awe of my courage and faith. For people to write books about my martyrdom and wish that they had that kind of commitment.

And then I think. Do I want be a martyr for God's glory? Or mine?

10:33 p.m. November 03, 2002
yesterday . not so yesterday