I wish I was talented. I really do. I wish I can make a website like her's . I'm jealous. It would be so much fun if I was talented. There are so many things I want to do in life, so many things I want to master, but I'm just too lazy to get off my butt and do them.

I want to learn html. I want to be a website wizard and make awesome sites that are pretty and interesting. Where I can express myself and my creativity. I'm just too lazy to get off my butt and do anything about it. I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for those kind souls that crank out free diaryland templates, people that actually know what they are doing and are good at it. This diary would be so ugly without them.

I've never been able to commit myself to anything. Whether it be a boy or an activity. When I was little I wanted to be a ballerina, but didn't want to take dance lessons. When I was a little older I wanted to be a gymnist, but got tired it after a year and quit. In sixth grade I wanted to be a cheerleader and a great singer. By seventh grade I had quit both choir and cheerleading. When I started high school I wanted to be an actress. I took theater my freshman year and this year but am tired of it so I will be not prusuing my drama career my junior year. I want to start a youth drama team at my church but am too scared at all the work that it will be that I haven't. Sincing a pattern? I have all these dreams in my head but am either too scared to start them or once I do, get too bored with them. I have yet to find something to hold my attention. Even in my Christian walk I get like this. I'll be really on fire for God, reading my bible and talking to him everyday and will just feel his presence all around me all the time, but then our relationship will get stale again because I become to lazy too do my quiet time a couple of days or I'll forget to pray, and soon I'm right back to the begining.

I have yet to find something that holds my attention.

This is niether here nor there, but the "A" key on my keyboard is screwing up. Its like, hard to push down and it's really bugging me.

aaaa.

Ug! How annoying.

4:17 p.m. November 04, 2002
yesterday . not so yesterday