reading: the Bourne Identity
listening: silence (but an occasional beeping that I have no idea where its coming from
eating: nothing, but drink a vanilla Dr. Pepper from Sonic
aniticipating: church tonight

I just found out today that I might not get a car. How unfair is that? I know, I know, I sound like a spoiled brat but . . it''s not fair! My brother got a car when he turned 16. A silver Jeep Grand Cherokee. I was led to believe that I would also be recieving a car. We've been talking a lot about it the last couple of months. And then today, out of nowhere, my mom says, "Oh, by the way, you might not be getting a car." I was like - Whoa! Where'd this come from? Ya see, my Dad works at a bank as well as being a preacher. His family owns this bank in Oklahoma. That's where we get most of our income and why we have such a nice house and stuff like that. Well, this guy stole a whole lot of money from the bank. I can't remember any specifics, but it was a WHOLE lot and the bank didn't get any of it back. By the time they caught him, it was already gone. So, that affects our income. We don't get as much money. It's a good, plausible reason why a large purchase - like a car - would have to wait. And I understand. But . . . . I want it. Haha. I sound like a five year old. I feel like a five year old. Except that five year olds can't drive.

I might still get one though. But I might not. I don't know.

I really want one though. All my life my parents have told me that when I turn 16, I will get a car. So I've kind of got my hopes all up.

Whoa. Deja Vu.

Do you every get that feeling like it feels like you've been through something before. Does that make any since? I suddenly feel like I've had these thoughts before or have been through this same situation . . . I get that feeling a lot. Out of nowhere. It's kinda cool acutally. Hehe.

It's gone now.

Anyway. Um . . I want a car.

2:24 p.m. June 19, 2002
yesterday . not so yesterday