reading: Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
listening: nothing
eating: nothing
aniticipating: the Jackson meeting

I have a meeting today. It is for all those going on the Jackson mission trip. We are just going to talk about details. I'm excited about it. Sure, its just a meeting, but these meetings always get me really pumped about actually going.

Last night, after vacation bible school all us youth leaders, again, went outside to play volleyball. We played untill 10:15. That's a whole lot of volleyball, considering vbs ended at round 8:45. Whenever everyone left, Tyler went to call his mom to go home. Everyone was gone when Will and I realized Tyler would be there all alone, waiting for his parents to pick him up, so we decided to wait with him. Of course, I didn't mind one bit. More Tyler time was perfectly alright with me. Well, Will went inside to get a Dr. Pepper, which left just Tyler and me, outside, all alone. That was exciting. We just tossed the ball around, did a little volleying. We both were really tired and so kinda sucked, so always had to run out to the middle of the parking lot to chase the god-forsaken ball because one of us would miss it. Flirting was going on as well. Didn't mind the flirting. I think Will went inside on purpose, he knows I like Tyler. Because then, after he came back out from retrieving his beverage, he went back inside to go to the restroom. That was fine with me.

I keep telling myself that I don't like Tyler anymore. That he has a girlfriend. That he is moving in seven months to Calafornia (yeah, I forgot to mention that, didn't I). That he has no interest in me in that way. That we are just friends, but then, I just can't stop thinking about him. He is always at the back of my mind, nagging at my thoughts. When I'm bored, I'll have daydreams about me and him. Like, what it would be like if we were really together. Us just doing normal, couple things. Going to the movies, eating dinner, holding hangs, him putting his arm around me, maybe a little smoochin'. You know, gross couple stuff.

And he's going to Jackson. I am still so excited about that. A whole week with Tyler.

But of course, I don't like him or anything.

*cough*

9:35 a.m. June 05, 2002
yesterday . not so yesterday